Haunted Diary
SENT IN BY: Mea
LOCATION: Eau Claire, Wisconsin, USA
DATE OF INCIDENT: 1999-2000.
EDITOR'S NOTE: The following is a 16 part Open Vault feature sent in to us by an X-Project reader who has lived in a house allegedly haunted by its previous owners.
We received an antique cedar wood trunk as a belated wedding gift from my
mother. It arrived the third week of October. We don’t know how old it is
but it came from an antique shop in McPherson, Kansas, a place my Mother has
been to several times, and she knows the owner well. We blessed our house
ourselves on November 7, 1999. It was after that we began having, what we
believe, are paranormal experiences...
ENTRY #1: Mid-November 1999
The first incident happened while I was doing laundry in the basement. I
heard a man coughing. I can remember stopping in mid-motion, wet laundry in
hand. I knew what I heard but realized I couldn’t be hearing that noise
because I was alone in the house except for our pets (two cats, Toonces and
Magnus, and one dog, Maddie). I looked around for the source but didn’t find
anything that could even begin to make that kind of noise. And, when I went
upstairs, all our pets were there, so I know they couldn‘t have done it.
During this time period I began to feel constantly watched. This feeling
continues although it is intermittent.
My husband, my son, and I have noticed all of our pets following "nothing"
with their eyes. This has happened in every room in the house. Sometimes the
cats will follow a "nothing" that goes right over them and they almost fall
over backwards to see where the "nothing" is going.
Maddie began barking at nothing in the basement stairway. When I would hear
her barking I would run over to turn on the stairway lights to see if I
could find what caused her to bark but nothing was ever there.
These were the first indications that we had a haunted house. Twice more
since then I’ve heard the coughing. All three times I was alone and the
coughing seemed to come from the area of the utility room. These incidents
unnerved me so much that I stopped going into the basement unless I
absolutely had to. And, when I did have to, it would only be during the day
and I would keep up a running dialogue about nothing in particular, just to
hear my own voice.
-- Mea
ENTRY #2: End of November 1999
It was after 9pm. My husband was at work, my son was in bed, and I was on
the computer in the living room. Everything was quiet until I heard my
husband’s drums, in the basement, being played. A few seconds passed, then I
heard what sounded like the freezer door being slammed closed. I thought
someone had broken into the house. Butcher knife in hand I went into the
basement to look around. I didn’t see anyone. The drums looked untouched and
the freezer door was closed, so I went back upstairs. The next day I told my
husband about the noises and we went into the basement. He wanted to know
for sure what I heard (he kept trying to say that it must have been our
furnace and ducts). He opened and closed the freezer door. That noise
matched the one I heard. Then he banged on his drums. The sound the bass
drum made matched what I heard. Regardless, he kept telling me it was our
furnace.
About this time I truly began to believe we lived in a haunted house. I
mentioned my thoughts to my husband and son but we all kind of laughed it
off. I have always believed ghosts and hauntings were possible, so I knew
that what was happening in our house was possible but, at the same time, it
was so improbable that it was laughable. I told a few friends about the
strange things going on. One emailed me about the website "Shadowlands". And
the people on the message board were very helpful. I told them what was
going on and they made me realize that we weren’t alone.
-- Mea
ENTRY #3: Mid- January 2000
One afternoon, feeling brave, I decided to confront the ghost I thought we
had. I went into the basement by myself, started walking around and talking
to nothing. I said, "I know you’re here. You’re dead so you need to go where
you’re supposed to be. I wish I knew why you were still here." I didn’t hear
anything, which made me feel braver. To this day I don’t know why I said
this part, but I did, "If you decide to stay then you need to do housework
just like everybody else that lives in this house! And we’ll have to find a
name for you...what do you think of George?" When I stopped speaking I was
standing beside the coffee table, opposite the couch. I heard a barely
audible male voice whisper in my left ear. I couldn’t tell what was said but
thought what I heard was Jeremiah, Jemininah (sp) or Gina (Gy-na). I
couldn’t move and had to tell myself to breathe. When I got up my nerve I
asked out loud, "What did you say?" When I didn‘t hear anything else I
sprinted upstairs.
This made me realize that we were haunted for sure. I started calling our
unwanted houseguest "the houseghost".
The whisper I heard brought up several questions. Was the whisperer just
telling me his name? That would work for the name Jeremiah but what about
the other two names that could have been said? Those were women’s names.
Was he introducing me to his wife? And if that was the case, does that mean
we have more than one houseghost? We knew that a husband and wife had
originally owned the house but we hadn’t heard their names. I wanted to find
out this information.
-- Mea
ENTRY #4: Mid-January 2000
One night I was on the computer in the living room and Toonces was asleep on
my lap. For no apparent reason he jumped into the air, hair bristling on his
back, and ran out of the living room. This was the first time something like
that happened. It’s happened a few more times since then.
Another night the dog started barking at "nothing" in the basement stairs
and kept it up throughout the entire house, backing up the entire way. To my
knowledge this hasn’t happened again.
I continued to feel watched whenever I was home. Sometimes it was just that
feeling you get on the back of your neck, the
"you-just-know-something-is-watching-you" feeling. Other times it was like
they were almost on top of me, the "almost-being-touched-but-not-quite"
feeling.
For some reason the strange things quieted down quite a bit during the last
part of January. It was a welcome relief. I told my husband that the
basement felt "empty" somehow.
Since all the things seemed to center on me he hadn’t experienced anything.
He told me that all the things I‘d been going through was in my mind. I got
mad! If my husband wanted to see and hear the things I was experiencing,
that‘s what he‘d get! I went into the basement to do some talking...
-- Mea
ENTRY #5: Beginning of February 2000
I made a mistake. In the basement I asked the houseghost to come back and
prove his existence to my husband. A few days later, my husband was putting
some things in the attic. As he was coming back down, he found a tiny black
and white picture on the stairs. It was a picture of two younger men dressed
in university garb from what seemed to be in the 1930’s. That made him think
twice about the things I’d told him since I’d personally swept or vacuumed
the stairs at least once a month since we moved in and hadn‘t seen any
pictures. I put the picture on the refrigerator and it’s there now. Where
did the picture come from? Did it fall from the rafters like my husband
said? Was the houseghost trying to prove his existence? Who were the men in
the picture?
The picture incident seemed to be a turning point in the activity. It began
to pick up and it went from being strictly audio to visual, as well as me
being able to be touched by the spirit.
I also started finding out things about spirits: Some roam around. Some
attach themselves to a property, an item, or a person. Some will follow you
from their regular haunting place. Very few are evil or bad. Most retain the
personality they had while living. And I found out some of the reasons for
why they didn’t "pass over". About this time I got it into my head that we
probably had more than one houseghost.
-- Mea
ENTRY #6: Beginning of March 2000
When we first moved in we removed the door that went from the kitchen to the
basement stairs. However, we’d been keeping the door between the kitchen and
dining room closed since we were laying tile on the kitchen floor and didn’t
want the pets getting into the adhesive or grout. We’d moved all the pet
stuff into the living room so the pets had no need to go into the basement
while the tile work was going on. I was in the basement and saw the back end
of our cat, Toonces, as he walked around the corner to the utility room. I
knew I had to get him or he’d be blocked from the litter box, food and
water. I went around the corner to pick him up and he disappeared before I
had a chance to grab him. He was there one instant but dissolved the next! I
ran up the stairs and Toonces was on the bed asleep. I told my husband what
happened and he said it might have been an animal that got into the house.
That night he left out some pet food to see if we had a raccoon or rat in
the house but nothing showed up. Since then I’ve often wondered if that
wasn’t an incident of a repetitive haunting.
March 17, 2000
We keep the French doors in the three-season porch closed in the winter as
it‘s too cold. My son was home from school, sick, and he went into the porch
to check for mail (that‘s where our mail slot is located). The French door,
with the hardest latch, had been opened about halfway. (The latch on this
door is so tight you have to push your body against the door to get it to
latch or unlatch.) The screen behind the French door had been knocked out of
the sill, the table in front of it had been moved over slightly and the
chair beside the table was knocked over.
These things were bothersome but what was really bothering at me was why
were the spirits still here? Why wouldn’t they go where they were supposed
to be?
End of March 2000
I decided to set up our video camera in the basement. I asked the
houseghosts to show themselves to the camera and to talk to it. I explained
that since I couldn’t see or hear them very well that perhaps the camera
could pick them up better. My son and I set it up and started it a little
after 9pm. The next day we both watched it. Unfortunately we didn’t see or
hear a thing.
-- Mea
ENTRY #7: Early April 2000
It was just after dark. I was in the kitchen laying floor tile and my son
came up to me saying he had a weird feeling. We suddenly heard a loud bang
in the three-season porch. I had him find out what it was (my hands were
full of grout). The same hard to unlatch French door as before had been
unlatched and left slightly open. Nothing else had been moved this time. He
latched the door again and came back into the kitchen to tell me what
happened.
A few days later the same door opened again. I don’t remember that entire
incident. What I do remember is that my husband had checked the French doors
and they were closed. (I think we left the house and came back.) He went
into the porch and found two French doors ajar. He latched them again and
asked us if we had opened them. We said we hadn’t. This upset me. I firmly
told the houseghosts that we lived in a different age from them and it was
too dangerous to leave the doors open when we weren’t home. They’ve stayed
closed since.
April 11, 2000 (11:13pm)
I was getting ready to go to bed and walked into the dining room to get
something from my purse (it was on the chair beside the attic doorway). Out
of the corner of my left eye I saw the attic door open just enough to be
able to stick my little finger into the opening. I turned my head and the
door immediately slammed closed, hard enough to feel the vibration through
the floor. Although I didn’t see anything in the stairwell, in my mind I had
the image of a short, hairy, pointy-eared creature being forcibly yanked up
the stairs. I felt very scared and couldn’t move for awhile (probably a few
minutes). When I could move again I called my husband at work.
Because of this unnerving incident I re-blessed the house by myself the
following weekend. Since I have a bad back, and the attic door at the top of
the stairs sits in the floor and is very heavy, I didn’t bless the attic.
Things calmed down after the re-blessing and the house no longer felt
'scary', it felt clean, as though the creature pulled up the stairs was evil
but it, the evil it emanated, was removed from the premises. This made me
feel much better and much less unnerved so I started talking to the
houseghosts more.
-- Mea
ENTRY #8: Mid-April 2000
The attic noises began after the re-blessing. They wouldn’t occur every
night, but when they did happen it would always be after 9:15pm. Heavy
footsteps walking around or heavy items being dragged on the floor. I’d tell
my husband about the noises the next day and he’d check the attic, but
nothing would have been moved.
I really wanted to get some answers on the things I was experiencing. I got
up enough nerve and called the previous owners. I used the pretense of
needing to get in touch with the original owners so we could give them the
black and white picture my husband had found on the attic stairs. Steven
Mann (previous owner) told me the original owners were both deceased. I
asked him what their names were. He said, "George Jochum is his name...and I
think her name was Gina." He thought the picture might be his wife’s but
wasn’t sure so he’d have her call us. I thanked him and hung up.
Now I was wondering about a few other things. When I talked to the
houseghost the first time I said we had to come up with a name for it. I
came up with George. Why did I blurt out that name? I don’t even like the
name George. Where did it come from? Had the houseghost somehow
subconsciously told me his name? And in the basement, when Mr. Jochum
whispered, was he was telling me the name of his wife because I had already
guessed his name?
-- Mea
ENTRY #9: Later Half of April 2000
Things have become more active:
I started seeing white, grey and dark misty figures in the corner of my eye.
I’ve seen them all over the house, not just one place in particular.
One night, after my shower in the basement bathroom, I was blow drying my
hair and felt a hand caress the skin on the outside of my right thigh.
Nothing was there when I spun around. I did shoot the "nothing" with the
hair dryer though and told it to stop touching and watching me shower
because it was impolite to do so. The touching of bare skin hasn’t occurred
again.
Another night I felt something tugging at my bra, through my shirt, in the
middle of my back. When I turned around nothing was there. I yelled out,
"Quit it!" This type of thing hasn’t occurred again either.
The garage door was found open. We had all come in together and witnessed it
closing. Nobody had been in the garage from the time we got home until it
was discovered open later that afternoon.
I also began to see orbs around the house. The first time was when I was
sitting at the computer in the living room and saw a yellow light in the
corner of my left eye. I turned my head to look and saw it hovering above
the speakers in the corner of the living room beside the front door. It
immediately disappeared.
April 20, 1999
A few times now I’ve seen lights going thru the house leaving streaks of
light behind them, like "sparklers" leave streaks behind them.
-- Mea
ENTRY #10: 4/26/00 (11:18pm)
I was going to bed and called for Toonces, to go
night-night. (He always goes to sleep with me, under the covers with his
head on my pillow.) He walked down the hallway but stopped in mid-stride
when he got to the bedroom doorway. I called to him again but he wouldn’t
come in. I thought to myself, "I wonder if there’s something in here with me
that I can’t see?", so I said out loud, "Would you please leave the room so
Toonces won’t be afraid to come in?" Out of the corner of my left eye I saw
a dark misty form, barely perceptible, go across the ceiling and to the
doorway. I followed it with my eyes until it got to the doorway. Toonces
took a few steps backwards then sat down, staring at the doorway. A
shimmery, billowy curtain of light formed in the bedroom doorway. On the
other side of the curtain I saw a faint figure of a man.
Since I was looking at Toonces on the floor I got a better look at the
bottom half of the figure than I did the top part. Everything was grey toned
but he was wearing lace-up boots (brownish-grey), slacks (medium grey), and
a shiny, silver, square belt buckle. By the time I had worked this far up
the figure it was almost gone. I looked at the face but couldn’t see
anything. I could barely see his shoulders and head. There also appeared to
be a hat brim. Then he was gone.
By this time I was no longer afraid but intrigued by what was going on. I
ran out of the room to see if I could get another glimpse of the man. I ran
thought the curtain of light and it was very cold wherever the light touched
me. All the hair on my body stood on end. I kept telling myself that it was
real because none of it seemed that way. I couldn’t see the man anywhere so
I decided to go back to bed. I went through the curtain of light again and
sat on the bed. The curtain of light lasted a few more minutes before it
disappeared. Toonces finally came into the bedroom and we went to sleep. The
next day, and for a few days after that, I felt energized, calm and so happy
that I couldn’t stop smiling.
-- Mea
ENTRY #11: May 2000
5/6/00 (Afternoon) - Rebecca Mann, the previous owner, came over to see the
picture Robbie found on the attic stairs. She thought it might be hers, but
she didn’t recognize it. I got up my nerve and started telling her about the
strange experiences in the house. I asked her if she experienced anything
like that. She said her kids were always saying, "They‘re still here, Mom"
(meaning the Jochums). She also said they had experienced the same thing
with the garage door opening by itself as well as other noises, but they
(she and her husband) just chalked it up to being an old house. Right before
she left she did say that Mr. Jochum supposedly had died in the three-season
porch.
5/7/00 (8pm) - I was filing some paperwork in the basement and heard a man’s
voice singing. It sounded like the backward masking they have on TV. I ran
upstairs to tell my husband and son that I heard Mr. Jochum singing. We all
ran downstairs but he wouldn’t sing anymore. Since then I’ve thought about
it and have wondered whether he was trying to say something and I only
thought he was singing.
5/9/00 (11pm) - I saw a little orb on our bedroom floor. It was bright
yellow, a little smaller than a ping-pong ball and it rolled away from me.
It was wobbly, like a bowling ball when it goes down the lane slowly.
5/17/00 - It’s been really quiet lately, but that has happened before. It
gets quiet as though the houseghosts are "recharging their batteries" then
things start happening again. The only things going on lately are the pets
still see "nothing" and the dog barks at "nothing". I see the occasional orb
and misty cloud around the house. These are always seen upstairs.
5/27/00 - Robbie and I were gone all day. When we got back home Krist said
he experienced the front door and his bedroom door closing by themselves. I
don’t know if it’s true since I wasn’t here.
5/30/00 (about 11:30pm) - Robbie was sitting in the overstuffed chair and I
was standing in back of the computer chair telling him that Krist had heard
a kid’s voice calling his name from his room. Without any warning a cold
wind went right through me, giving me goosebumps and taking my breath away.
The experience seemed to last a few seconds (I didn’t look at my watch to
know for sure).
Robbie didn’t see the goosebumps so, in a fit of bravery, I asked "it" to go
through me again so my hubby could witness it for himself. We waited a few
minutes and "it" went through me again. The same thing happened as before, I
felt the coldness, it was hard to breathe and I got goosebumps. Then Robbie
decided to find the camera so he could take pictures in case the same thing
happened again. We spent a few minutes looking for the camera, then we went
to our original places. I asked "it" to go through me yet again. It did.
This time Robbie snapped 3 pictures, all that was left on the film. I told
"it" to stop going through me as I was starting to feel exhausted and very
hot. I walked into the bedroom and stood in front of the chest of drawers to
take off my slippers. "It" went through me again even though I had asked
"it" not to.
5/31/00 - I was taking the laundry to the basement and as I leaned over to
put the full basket on the floor, out of the corner of my left eye, I saw
something moving between the TV and the coffee table in the rec room. I
looked up to see only two legs...pacing! I could see round-toed boots and
slacks up to about the knees, then nothing above that but a dark grey mist.
It looked like the same shoes of the houseghost I saw in the hallway. They
were going back and forth between the TV and the coffee table.
I called my son to come down. When he did, he said he saw a misty grey torso
as well as a head floating above the coffee table (I didn’t see the head)
What he saw also seemed to be pacing. I told him what I saw then asked him
to get Robbie.
They came downstairs. I asked Robbie if he could see anything, but he didn’t
see a thing. Both Krist and I described what we saw. I even walked over to
where "it" was, but the closer I got, the dimmer "it" got. By the time I got
to the spot, "he" was gone. I waved my hand in the area but didn’t feel any
temperature change. I walked back to my husband, turned around to face the
place where I saw the ghost, and asked "nothing" to show himself to Robbie.
Nothing happened. As we were discussing the experience, something went
through me again. I got cold, got goosebumps and lost my breath.
-- Mea
ENTRY #12: Early June 2000
6/3/00 (about 3am) - I took our dog out. In the corner of the backyard,
farthest from the street light, I saw a whitish shape in the shadows under
the two lilac bushes. The shape seemed to come out of the ground and floated
upwards into the sky. It made me very uneasy so I hurried the dog along in
her business and got back inside.
6/3/00 (3:49am) - I looked at the clock when I went to bed) I was sitting in
bed, doing a puzzle magazine, when I heard a pet’s collar jingling from the
hallway. I looked up and the shimmery, billowy, curtain was in the doorway
again. My son had a friend staying the night, and they were in the basement,
so I yelled at them to come upstairs. When they got to the doorway I asked
them if they could see the curtain. Both said no. Magnus and Maddie kept
going through the doorway but Toonces hunkered down in the hallway and
wouldn’t come into the bedroom. The curtain stayed in the doorway
approximately 10 minutes. It appeared to be attached to the outside of the
doorframe, with 6 attachment points so that it looked similar to the way a
shower curtain is hung. There was a larger gap between the middle 2
attachments than there were between the other attachments. (See the
following picture.) It also didn’t go all the way to the floor, but billowed
slightly, as though being pushed around by a slight breeze. When I looked
through the curtain, the far side of the hallway looked "rubbery", as though
a portion of the floor was going down a little bit and a portion of the wall
was going up and out.
-- Mea
ENTRY #13: Mid June 2000
6/6/00 (3:15am) - My husband awakened me from a sound sleep saying, "I saw
something! I saw something downstairs!" After asking him to explain (I was
still half asleep), he said he was laying on his stomach in the basement,
playing with the dog, when something whizzed back and forth over his head.
"A white light was flashing above my head, going the entire length of the
room. It went back and forth, back and forth." He also said when he looked
for it he couldn’t see it but when he stopped looking for it the light came
back and he could see it in his peripheral vision. I asked him how big the
light was. He said he thought it was about the size of a softball. I am so
glad this happened. The houseghosts are finally showing themselves to him!
6/14/00 - Our cat, Toonces, died on Monday at about 5:30pm. My husband told
me that when he went to the bathroom, early this morning, he heard a noise
outside the closed door. He said it sounded like Toonces. (Toonces hated
being left out of the bathroom) so he opened the door and said, "Hello
Toonces", then he closed the door and did his business. He also said
yesterday evening, after I’d gone to bed, he saw our other cat, Magnus,
playing with nothing by the freezer and she was playing like she did with
Toonces.
-- Mea
ENTRY #14: Mid-Late June 2000
6/15/00 (9:48am) - My son called me at work. He said he was really tired
because he was awakened in the middle of the night and couldn’t get back to
sleep until after 2am. He said he went to sleep with the fan on but it
awakened him by alternately running regularly and bogging down. The light
in his bedroom was off went he went to sleep but after he awakened it went
on, then off, then both, really fast, like a machine gun. He leaned up in
bed to see better when he noticed Toonces, our deceased cat, sleeping at the
foot of his bed! He said when he went to grab Toonces, the cat jumped off
the bed, ran to the closed door and went into it.
6/15/00 - Krist told me one of the French doors in the three-season porch
had opened up by itself again.
6/25/00 - I was doing a load of whites in the basement so grabbed the bleach
bottle from the cabinet. There was no cap on it. I wondered where the cap
was. I knew I’d put it back on the last time I’d used it because it’s
dangerous to not put the cap back on and I’m the only one who uses bleach in
the laundry (hubby and son won’t because they’re afraid they’ll ruin
something). Anyway, I started looking for it in the cabinet and around the
washer and dryer but didn‘t find it. Just in case, I asked the houseghosts
to bring the cap back if they’d used it. I was facing the laundry hamper and
immediately after I asked, and right before my eyes, a blue 2% milk jug lid
fell from the ceiling and landed in on top of the dirty clothes in the darks
section. I told "them" thanks but wondered if the lid would fit on the
bleach bottle. Sure enough, it did.
-- Mea
ENTRY #15: 6/26/00
The lamp on my husband’s side of the bed worked fine all day long
yesterday (he had knee surgery last Thursday so has been spending quite a
bit of time in bed) but stopped working correctly later in the evening.
Attached to the lamp is a gizmo that makes the lamp a touch lamp. It has
five stages: dark, very dim, dim, medium, and bright. In the evening though,
the lamp suddenly only had three stages. Dark, very dim, and dim. Today
though it’s working fine again.
Tonight I went into the basement to get my hubby some tools to work on his
guitar. I sat on the couch in the rec room, searching through hubby’s
toolbox for screwdrivers, and I suddenly felt "the bad" in the corner of the
rec room between the trunk and the entertainment center. I didn’t see
anything but it felt like and invisible blanket was getting larger and
coming closer. I had goosebumps all over. Magnus was on the stairs and she
was staring at something I couldn’t see. I ran up the stairs and into the
bedroom, breathless, where I told Robbie, "‘The Bad’ is back!" We went into
the basement. Robbie stood right where I felt the ‘The Bad’. He didn’t see
anything but I still felt it, even though it wasn’t as strong. It dawned on
me that that spot is directly under Robbie’s lamp.
-- Mea
ENTRY #16: UPDATE: May 2001
I've stopped keeping a spirit diary since it's mostly the same things occurring over and over and we have all pretty much become accustomed to the experiences (as much as one can become accustomed to things like this) so they no longer bother us as much as they used to.
All of us have seen the orbs in all different sizes (softball sized down to pea sized), in all colors (bright white through all the colors of the rainbow to a shiny black) and in all forms of motion (zipping around or shimmying at eye level, rolling on the floor or ceiling or around bed legs, fast and leisurely).
Doors still keep opening up by themselves. Just two weekends ago the front door that leads from the living room to our three-season porch opened up by itself and our dog, Maddie - who has a habit of running away whenever she gets loose - got out the door and ran to my son and I in the back yard, cowering behind me when she got to us. This is completely backwards from her normal behavior (just ask our neighbors how many times we've had to run after her because she got loose!) and she came running TOWARDS us this time? The basement door that goes from the house to the garage opens by itself all the time but none of the pets ever goes that door unless a person goes with them.
There are only three new things I can think of:
One is I saw a woman's bottom half. I was upstairs looking at the bottom of the stairs. Out of the corner of my eye I caught the floor length, dark colored skirt of a woman walking in the basement. I saw it just long enough for "her" to walk behind the wall at the bottom of the stairs so didn't get a good look at anything but the skirt. I term "Librarian" came to mind when I saw the skirt.
Two is that we found out that the original owner (George Jochum) died in his bedroom (our bedroom now) not the three-season porch like we were told.
And three is that after my husband's lamp had it's original lighting problem it has continued to have lighting problems. We've switched bulbs, dimmer switches and plugins but it still goes on by itself at 6:46PM. I assume that's when Mr. Jochum died in the bedroom. I'm searching for more information on him to see what I can find out but it's like looking for a needle in a haystack. If anybody knows anything, please let me know.
That's about all I can add to the happenings. I avoid going into the basement when it's dark if at all possible because I am still uncomfortable down there but otherwise things have calmed down (thank goodness!)
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